Thinking of death to much?

Shrinks wont help unless you want to throw some money away... You are not crazy... You are just smart, i think... I dont want to live either, i go on because i believe in a creator and i cant risk it... i will die eventually and thats my only consolation.. i couldnt promise i would never kill myself but right now i'm holding myself because if i kill myself it'd make everything worse... I think about death 23 hours a day since i was 14 and not just mine... Because its the only truth... i just want to hope that i could walk into heaven along with my loved ones... you do the same.